Understanding others. This is a quality that only few of us possess and even fewer actually use to our advantage. And understanding is not meant in that aspect where you have to listen to made up stories or unreasonable excuses, it is rather meant that you observe others and then interpret their actions.
Little hints that can mean many different things but all point to one trait of character, that help you understand why a person acts the way he or she does, even though it might be impossible to recognize at first glance. Little things you can find out about them, that they might not even know themselves or would never tell anyone (while sober).
1. You are never taken by surprise
Wouldn’t that be great? Not having to always be surprised by the actions of other. If you pay attention to them beforehand, you will most likely be able to predict something long before it will happen. And in case it is threatening you or the acting person, you will be able to do something about it. A really good way to observe others, is by reading body language.
But not only body language will give clues on other people’s feelings. The way they dress, their hobbies, their favorite music genre, their list of priorities, etc. all of this gives a great deal of information on the other person. As long as you are observant and process the information they accidentally give you, you will never be taken by surprise.
2. You don’t get overwhelmed by feelings such as hatred
“I think that hate is a feeling that can only exist where there is no understanding.”
― Tennessee Williams
So negative emotions are something nobody likes. Whether it is hatred, envy, frustration, doubt or sadness, they usually only cause confusion and unnecessary conflicts. If you try to understand somebody through observing them, you might get your answers much faster than by simply asking and in the end being served a lie. Communication always has to do with empathy. If you put yourself in the same position and think about what you would do if you had the limited point of view the other person has, then you will find yourself coming to conclusions you might have overlooked previously.
3. You learn to forgive others because you see a little bit of yourself in them
In case you should encounter someone that is bullying you/ treating you badly, you might recognize that they usually have the same problems you do, but process them differently. Take a homosexual individual for example. There are still people out there that don’t know how to deal with their own sexuality, maybe because of badmouthing in the family, maybe because of other factors. If such a person encounters another homosexual individual that might be more open or simply normal about it, he/she might feel challenged by that normality and act abusive in conclusion. The person sees the other as their “bad” part, that they want to hide from others, which leads to the violence.
I’m not trying to say, that we should all forgive our bullies. But knowing this perspective will give us the chance to understand them and later maybe even forgive them.
4. You are never called skin-deep
Since you always think ahead and don’t just judge people depending on their outer appearance, it is impossible to call you skin-deep. You try to dig deeper than the average person, resulting in a better understanding for humanity.
5. You can avoid mistakes because you have seen others make them
It is possible that this is a rather selfish reason but what can we do but learn from the mistakes others made. Since you have two different viewpoints on a person through careful observance, you have a better understanding of a problematic. Two viewpoints as in the way you see that person and the way the person sees him/herself. If you now should find yourself in a similar situation you can recall the feeling and perspectives and then conclude what to do next. There might be a back door that you can only see with some distance, and that you only use when you know about it.
Please tell me if you agree with this list. (^_~)